I read this book quite by accident. Looking for an audio book from the library collection can be challenging if you aren’t looking for #18 in a mystery series or self help. Anything remotely interesting is on hold and doesn’t help the need for wanting it now! But then, every once in a while, there is a neglected book that turns out to be better than those high up on the best of lists. This may not have a great title but The Collected Regrets of Clover turned out to be a terrific story. Please don’t be put off thinking it dark and dreary.

St. Martins Press May 2023

Clover has experienced death up close and personal from a very young age. Her kindergarten teacher dropped dead as he read the class a story, her parents were killed in an accident when she was six, and the beloved grandfather who raised her died when she was in Asia on study abroad. Aside from the reality of this seismic loss, she is heartbroken that he died alone in his office.

Driven by the sorrow at not being with her grandfather when he died, Clover decides sitting with the dying will become her profession. She becomes a death doula. This was something I’d never heard of her and am not even sure it’s a thing. But since there are doulas to bring life into the world, it makes sense to have someone help you when you are on your way out.

As a death doula, Clover stands in as a surrogate for those dying without family or friends. She’s hooked up with social service agencies, hospitals, and her reputation to acquire clients who have no one. Generally, she keeps them company. Clover also does paperwork to get affairs in order, becomes an advocate and most importantly listens to their life stories and their ruminations of what they may have done differently. She keeps a notebook of the things they talk about regretting. These are the simple musings of things they wish they’d done, said, or had been.

Clover takes what they say seriously and when they are gone, tries to honor these regrets. Some could make you smile. One woman was so sorry she refused to eat mangoes because she didn’t like the looks of them. And then she tasted one… and couldn’t get enough. Why oh why did she deny herself for so long? After her death, Clover feasted on mangoes. Another had always dreamed of being a painter so Clover took an art class on her behalf.

Another thing I had never heard of were death cafes. Again, if it’s just fiction I think they should become real. As a New Yorker, Clover has plenty of them to attend. They are set up like AA meetings. Held in churches and public spaces and have refreshments. People can come to talk about fear, loss, or whatever else is on their minds. It is in one of these death cafes, that Clover meets Sebastian and becomes a doula to his fascinating Grandma, Claudia. The life she has lived is one that her uptight, restrictive family knows nothing about. The conversations are in their own way inspiring. And most importantly are pivotal to Clover’s growth.

So we have a protagonist who is comfortable with the dying but not the living. As the story unfolds, she is thrown into new situations to help her expand her life and join the living. The characters are marvelous. Leo, an 87 year old man with incredible joie de vivre, a young woman who moves into her apartment building, Sylvie, who works hard to befriend her, and Sebastian’s grandma all provide her with a way to open up her life. 

Rather than being depressing, with its humor and pathos and interesting characters, this is an exhilarating book about what makes a rich and full life. Take a chance on it.

This is Mikki Brammer’s first book. She is an Australian journalist living in New York City. Up until now, she wrote about design, art, and architecture for magazines such as Architectural Digest, Elle, and Decor. I hope she decides to write another novel.

Mikki Brammer, author