I know Cara Benson as a poet and teacher. About twenty years ago, I took a seminar with her. She was ebullient, enthusiastic, exuded confidence in her subject matter. It was an environment in which to thrive. We in the seminar called it poetry heaven. The ten of us who couldn’t bear the experience to end met monthly for ten years as a critique group attempting to invoke her spirit.

When reading this memoir, it was hard for me to believe our Cara had been working to swim out of the depths of darkness when we knew her. And how difficult it must have been to exude such positive energy. 

Her dogged beliefs in love and hope are the foundation of this book. Sustaining this, an upward climb.  Drawn to the world of climbing to help her heal and move forward was a perfect metaphor. She needed to pull herself up out of dangerous behaviors. Whether making it to the next AA meeting or attempting a climb she might not have been ready for, she approached all with the tenacity of a survivor.

Meeting Jon was a turning point. She loved when love had been unreliable. Having met at an AA meeting was both a blessing and a curse. The blessing—a mutual understanding of past wounds and addictive behavior. The curse—same.

When emerging from the low of lows, how did she do it? We understand from the beginning that this battered woman was in the fight for her life and she was determined to come out the other side.

Cara’s story goes back and forth in time. We learn in tragic detail of her flight from an abuser, her battle with addiction, her struggle with sobriety. Two strands braided together are her story’s foundation. Her love for Jon and the natural world around her.

The chapters are each titled with the name of a bird with a scientific quote about its character, each corresponding to the chapter itself. For example, her chapter entitled Mourning Doves cites Cornell Lab of Ornithology as “their soft, drawn out calls sound like laments.” to introduce her chapter on her mother’s cancer diagnosis and a failed climbing experience in Mexico. 

Or the 2018 chapter entitled Scarlet Tanager. Also from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology description: “Male scarlet tanagers are the most blindingly gorgeous birds in an eastern forest in summer. They are also the most frustratingly hard to find as they say high in the forest canopy.” What a painfully accurate entry to the chapter when Jon went missing. 

They are all perfect counterparts.

The prose has a poetic quality to it. On first connecting with Jon after a meeting.

“ I remember the moment that night when everything shifted. I can still see him standing in the diffuse yellow glow of the lighting…The background around us blurred. He clicked into focus. His fluffy ginger brown hair and trim beard. His shiny cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. That wide smile. I was entranced.”

Or:

“He started describing me as the ocean, relentless in my rushing at him, wave after wave trying to erode his resolve to do things his way. In turn, I said he was an impossibly rocky shoreline, holding firm, with more rock tumbling from on high, continually replenishing the line he wanted to hold, which kept continually receding  from me.”

Absolutely spot on descriptions of a real love story.

This is titled a climate memoir. It blends two powerful truths about how the world around us is intertwined with the world within us. Benson’s battle for her survival succeeded by force of will. Despite the odds, she found a way in to love and to love deeply. She survived an irreparable loss and redirected her energy into hiking and our climate challenges.

This is an openhearted book. We all experience uphill climbs. We may not have had losses that parallel Benson’s but there is much to absorb about how to live in the world with love. And while we may not have the stamina or desire to hike the 46 peaks but we all have responsibility to cherish and protect what’s around us.

Cara Benson is an accomplished writer and poet. Her writing has been published in the New York Times, Boston Review, Orion, Sierra Magazine, The Brooklyn Rail, Terrain, and selected for Best American Poetry. Her first book (made) was a collection of prose poems well reviewed in the Huffington Post and The Brooklyn Rail. She also received a New York Foundation for the Arts Fellowship as well as the bpNichol award. In addition, she wrote a series on walking in the woods for the Best American Poetry (www.carabensonwriter.com)

Highly recommend.